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Re-Post: New Year, New You

This post originally published on In The Blackest Ink Today is the 5th of January, we are now almost a full week into the new year, but for me, the new year just began today. Today, I was laid off from my job. I wasn't surprised, although I suppose, maybe the fact that it was my last day was surprising. Around this time in 2016, my first job at this particular location of the organization where I have worked for the last 8 years, was eliminated. At that time, another position was created. I wasn't super thrilled about the position, and did start job hunting, but because I hadn't finished my bachelor's degree, I couldn't get hired. So, I stuck it out, and now, I don't have to? I can't say this is the best time to lose my job. I'm certainly not in a financial position to be unemployed, but I do know that I am incredibly lucky to have the safety net of my boyfriend and my father. Without that I would be in pretty dire straits. In some ways, this is the be
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Re-Post: Should vs. Want

This post originally published on In The Blackest Ink This will probably not be the last time I talk about Ali on the Run and her podcast, so sorry in advance? As I mentioned in my earlier post, during a recent podcast episode hosted by her husband, Ali talked about a solo trip to California. Another thing she said that really struck me was that she only did things she actually wanted to do, and not that she thought she "should" do or that she "would want" to do. This is important for so many reasons. Yes, in life we have to do things we don't want to do but we should do. However, we do far more things we think we should or would want to do instead of truly asking ourselves "is this want I want to do?" Sadly, going to work every day is probably not negotiable, but you can ask yourself "is this the work I want to be doing, or is it work I think I should want to be doing?" Getting to the heart of that question made a little light go off in

Re-Post January 1

This blog originally posted on In The Blackest Ink The first day of the new year is always a bit of a mixed bag for me. There's definitely the refreshing feeling of the idea of a clean slate, and also a sense of hope for betterment, and good things to come. There's also that sense of melancholy at the year that's passed, good and bad, but always a bit of a feeling of failure. Failure to have not met the goals of the previous year, or how I've fallen behind on other personal struggles. 2017 was a difficult year for many reasons. In July of 2016, my mom lost her battle with cancer, and the last year and a half have been filled with grief. I'm still navigating my way through the loss of my mother, and what that means as far as the new normal for my family. Every day is different, some harder than others, some with a more sharp reminder of my mom's physical absence. Holidays suck, they're just never going to be the same, and I'm trying to accept that. Eve

Weed is the new GOOP

This was originally posted at  Marijuana and CBD oils are all over the Internet right now. I can’t scroll through my RSS feed without seeing at least one article touting it as the next big thing in wellness, or urging me to buy a bath bomb infused with CBD. I won’t lie, it’s not that I’m not tempted, especially by a bath bomb which provides amazing sleep. At this point, even your sparking water fix can be spiked with weed ( seriously ). There are huge physical and mental wellbeing benefits from the product, and as states begin to legalize recreational marijuana, a growing market for what many view as a holistic treatment for everything from everyday stress, anxiety, depression, to muscle aches and pains. I’ve seen a large number of articles about the oil and its benefits in publications which cater toward women interested in fitness and wellness, but what’s missing are the women of color, and a broader conversation about how white women are be

Mother's Day After Loss

Since my mom's passing in July of 2016, I've found myself learning more about the kind of milestones and events that trigger sadness and grief. It's challenging, to say the least, because as I learned in early 2017, I am not only dealing with grieving the loss of my mother, but also the Post Traumatic Stress from being witness to her treatment, hospice, and ultimately, her death. Until I saw a doctor in the Urgent Care for what I thought was vertigo, I had no idea that the accumulation of these experiences would equal PTSD. I was actually embarrassed to have missed it, since I'm currently studying social work, and consider myself a very empathetic and emotive person. I suppose empathy for others doesn't always translate to empathy for oneself. So far, we've "celebrated," several holidays, and other milestones - 4th of July the day after she passed, my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, my parents' anniversary, her birthday, my dad's


I have six unfinished drafts for this blog just hanging out. I'm taking 12 units this semester at school, I'm working full time, I'm attempting to have some semblance of a life while maintaining my limited sanity in a world where we somehow have a President Trump. I'm exhausted most of the time, I'm trying to eat better, and work out more frequently, oh yeah and  I also have quite a bit of debt to tackle. Turns out, shopping is not an appropriate outlet for grief when you're not independently wealthy. So, what does that mean for this blog? Probably not a whole lot, truthfully. In my head I have a grand plan of using this as a way to curb my spending, while still reading (things other than the depressing shit I have to read for all of my course work as a Social Work major,) and using all the makeup and beauty products I currently have. We'll see how all that pans out, shall we?


That feeling when you have five drafts in your blog dashboard, but start a new post anyway.  So, instead of forcing myself to finish one of those five posts, I'm going to share with you some gems I've found around the interwebs over the last few weeks. Enjoy! There's that famous line from  Magnolia  ...  I'm through with the past. ... Well, the past isn't through with you.  And that is exactly what this is. You know, you can say you're through with grief all you want, but grief will let you know when it's done.   This interview with Patton Oswalt is great, give it a listen.  Five portions of fruit and veg a day is good for you, but 10 is much better and could prevent up to 7.8 million premature deaths worldwide every year, say scientists. Guess what? You're still not eating enough fruits and vegetables.  Trigger's mission to transform anger into social good may be especially welcomed in 2017. Use all that Twitter rage for something good