Books Beauty Bling

This post originally published on In The Blackest Ink This will probably not be the last time I talk about Ali on the Run and her podcast, so sorry in advance? As I mentioned in my earlier post, during a recent podcast episode hosted by her husband, Ali talked about a solo trip to California. Another thing she said that really struck me was that she only did things she actually wanted to do, and not that she thought she "should" do or that she "would want" to do. This is important for so many reasons. Yes, in life we have to do things we don't want to do but we should do. However, we do far more things we think we should or would want to do instead of truly asking ourselves "is this want I want to do?" Sadly, going to work every day is probably not negotiable, but you can ask yourself "is this the work I want to be doing, or is it work I think I should want to be doing?" Getting to the heart of that question made a little light go off in ...

I know the lyric to Across the Universe goes "pools of sorrow, waves of joy," and I understand the meaning. Sorrow can feel like a deep and endless pool, but for me, lately, the waves aren't of joy so much as sorrow and grief. Life lately has been survival and attempting to get back into what is the new "normal." The challenge is, I feel like I'm standing in the ocean, waist deep. Most of the time I'm floating in those pools, or at least along with the calm ebb and flow of the tide, but some days, like on Saturday, I am knocked over completely by a wave so big and powerful it pulls me under and holds me there. It hurts, and I can feel my lungs burning as I strain to hold my breath until the current releases me. This overwhelming ache of loss and sadness. I miss my mommy. I know it never goes away. I know this, and I know that eventually the waves are less powerful, either that or I better learn how to dodge them, ride them. There doesn't seem to be...