Skip to main content

When The Waves are Sorrow

I know the lyric to Across the Universe goes "pools of sorrow, waves of joy," and I understand the meaning. Sorrow can feel like a deep and endless pool, but for me, lately, the waves aren't of joy so much as sorrow and grief. Life lately has been survival and attempting to get back into what is the new "normal." The challenge is, I feel like I'm standing in the ocean, waist deep. Most of the time I'm floating in those pools, or at least along with the calm ebb and flow of the tide, but some days, like on Saturday, I am knocked over completely by a wave so big and powerful it pulls me under and holds me there. It hurts, and I can feel my lungs burning as I strain to hold my breath until the current releases me. This overwhelming ache of loss and sadness.

I miss my mommy. I know it never goes away. I know this, and I know that eventually the waves are less powerful, either that or I better learn how to dodge them, ride them. There doesn't seem to be any real consensus on which, only that time helps heal. I just wish this salt water didn't burn so damn much.
Labels:

Comments

  1. UnknownSeptember 14, 2016 at 8:51 AM

    Hi, Catherine. I clicked over from Makeup and Beauty Blog to say that I love your blog name, Books Beauty Bling. I'm sorry things have been hard lately. Sending you lots of virtual hugs. *hugs* - Karen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CatherineSeptember 14, 2016 at 11:53 AM

      Thank you so much, Karen! <3 I love your blog, and seeing the adventures of Tabs and Connor Claire.

      Delete
    2. CatherineSeptember 14, 2016 at 12:16 PM

      Thank you so much, Karen! <3 I love your blog, and seeing the adventures of Tabs and Connor Claire.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Watching Cancer Take My Mom

I’ve been snooping around my parents house, looking for old photos. I know we have them, my dad loves photography, and I know we have boxes of pictures around here somewhere. Snooping is probably too strong a word, really I’m just searching around. I’m trying to find as many photos of my mom as possible. Most of the photos that are around the house are studio portraits, or other photos of me, from school, from dance. There are few adult pictures of my parents that don’t also include a younger version of me. I want to find these photos because I want to have as many visual reminders of who my mom was, physically, before the cancer came. I want to remember her holding me while I suspiciously suss out Donald Duck, or holding me on her lap in a blue chair that’s almost just as much a part of my childhood memories. I want to remember her smiling, and vibrant, and sometimes, clearly annoyed with the photographer (my dad.) I want all of these as a constant reminder that my mom is so much
4 comments
Read more

Beauty: Younique Cosmetics Foundation & Concealer

I am a makeup and skincare product junkie, but on a day-to-day basis, I frequently go makeup free. Sometimes, it's all makeup, sometimes I wear eye make up and no foundation. There was a time, in my early 20s when I wouldn't think of leaving the house without even a little bit of makeup, but the older I get, the less I care, and it's actually done a couple of things for me. One, it's made me realize that you don't *HAVE* to wear makeup every day, nothing really happend when I wasn't wearing a full face of makeup, and two, my skin got better. I don't know if some of my skin getting better also came with age, or was in part thanks to not putting stuff all over my face,and then removing it each night. The world may never know. That said, I do keep face makeup for those times when I want a flawless face to start with. A friend of mine from childhood is a Younique presenter, and I have tried the mascara - which I found to be mostly great, so when she invite
Post a Comment
Read more